Brandon Fazio – unfiltered

What a week my friends. One of my cooks was assaulted by a guest with a lobster tail. Happy to report he’s fine. Reminds me of another funny lobster tale. I worked for a chef once with a very wild imagination. Walking into the restaurant one morning there was a sign stating “Live lobster dinners” after seeing this I went straight to the walk-in cooler to check them out. There was in fact lobsters, but they were not alive. They were frozen. I asked chef why he would advertise like that, he told me the people in this town would never know the difference. I was appalled. Dinner service started and one of the servers had a guest that wanted to see the lobster before we cooked it. I thought uh-oh the jig is up. Or so I thought… Chef picks up a lobster, dunks it in the water to thaw it out. Slaps some rubber bands on its claws, and proceeds to the dining room. He held this very limp dead lobster like a marionette doll and moved it around with his fingers under its claws and said “It’s a very lively little guy, I don’t wanna get too close in case he snaps these bands” The guests bought it. Every single cook in the kitchen was howling in laughter. I had seen some wild stuff up to this point in kitchens, this took the cake though. I guess moral of this story is, be careful where you eat folks. And please, don’t throw lobster tails at my cooks. Thanks.

Much love, -Brandon Fazio